A Moment, Commander?
by ShawN7
Summary: Cullen finds himself fixated on their new Inquisitor. He craves her, and is uncertain of what to do. A short F!Trevelyan x Cullen story, hoping to continue it further. (Possible spoilers)
1. A Moment, Commander?

She was beautiful, like something from a fairy tale. She walked with the grace of a queen, her full hips swaying with ease as she walked. Her brown hair shinning in the sun and flowing gently with the slight breeze that blew through Skyholds courtyard. Cullen exhaled slowly, his chest tight. "By the Maker, she is beautiful."

And walking straight towards him. His cheeks burned with the coming blush as he broke his gaze and scrambled for the reports on the makeshift table. "Do you have a moment, Commander?" Juliana Trevelyan asked, smiling lightly. Cullen glanced up to the Inquisitor, his breath catching in his throat. He cleared his throat, "Of course, my lady. I was just looking over some reports." He straightened his spine, clasping his hands behind his back.

It wasn't easy to remain formal with her. She detested it, in fact. However, it was harder to be the friend she clearly was seeking. Cullen tried to keep his thoughts pure, faithful, but he craved her.

He craved her soft lips on his skin, the feel of her curves under his hands, her hands tugging at his hair while… "Commander?" Her lyrical voice breaking through his day-dreaming.

He could feel the heat in his cheeks, and by the smile the Inquisitor was trying to repress, they were rose red against his pale complexion. "I… Yes, what was it that you needed, Juliana?" He asked, desperately trying to divert her attention back to why she had come.

Her smile was a full on grin now, "Juliana? Why, Commander, I do believe this is the first time you've referred to me by my name. It is usually 'Trevelyan' or most recently 'Inquisitor'." She leaned on the table, grinning at him with the most captivating smile he had ever witnessed. He could feel the heat rise to the tips of his ears now.

"I… I didn't mean… If you… I…" He stammered incoherently.

Juliana giggled, placing her hand on his shoulder plate. "Relax, Cullen. I like to believe we're… Friends."

She looked up to him, meeting his gaze. Her bright violet eyes spoke volumes to him, of the compassion and love she held for not just him, but for her people.

She truly was the Makers gift. "I- of course. I apologise. What can I do for you, Inq-Juliana?" She flashed her brilliant smile once more before the corners of her lips turned down, her eyes full of regret. "About… about Haven." She paused taking a deep breath.

He could see the tears she refused to shed. "How many… How…?" She was unable to finish.

He nodded, understanding her question and he hated the pain his answer would cause her. "Too many." He said softly, feeling the guilt for not protecting them as he should have. Juliana's hand slipped into his, squeezing for reassurance. "You did everything you could. If not for you, we all would be…" She shook the troubling thoughts from her mind. "I trust you implicitly, Cullen."

She met his gaze, and the trust he saw shook his very core. How could this woman possibly trust him? He was a Templar, she a Mage. He had heard the way she spoke of his Templar brothren, with such venom and hatred, he wondered how she even stood to look at him. The silence dragged on, and when her hand slipped from his, he missed the contact severely.

"Cullen, I'm… I'm glad you made it out safely." She looked at her feet, as if they had become the most interesting thing in Thedas. Her soft, brown hair fell around her face, obscuring the delicate features he loved so much.

With a deep inhale, he reach up with trembling fingers, brushing the silky hair behind her left ear. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you." He whispered before he could stop himself. She looked up, eyes wide with revelations and her lips twitching to smile. He removed his hand taking a slow backwards step.

"I," he cleared his throat, "I am needed in the war room, I will… See you later, Inquisitor." He bowed slightly at the waist, clasping his fist against his chest before turning around and half running up the steps into the great hall. He tripped on the way up and cursed under his breath, hearing the musical laughter that followed. "Makers breath, why?"

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**Finished the Cullen romance recently and absolutely loved it. Might continue this as well when I have time. Thanks for reading. **


	2. May I have this dance?

She leaned against the railing, over looking the Winter Palace. Her shoulders were tense and bunched, and her head hung low between them. He eyed the witch carefully as she walked past him, shuddering at the silent chill her presence always brought.

"Inquisitor?" He asked, approaching her slowly, and leaning against the same railing next to her.

She picked up her head and gave him an exhausted smile. "Cullen, did you have a good time?" She jested, the sound of her voice instantly lifting his spirit.

"Such as it was." He chuckled, looking back to the ballroom, listening to the uproarious conversations and laughter filtering up to the balcony.

She sighed, leaning heavily on the railing, "yes, it was… an eventful evening." She looked exhausted, as though she hadn't slept for years. He had noticed the dark circles under her eyes, but tonight they seemed as black as the night sky.

"Is everything alright, Juliana?" He asked, hands tightening around the railing as he awaited her answer. "I'm… tired, just tired." She gave him a soft smile, bumping shoulders with him.

He smiled back, enchanted by how such a gentle, kind woman could be so strong and… playful. She looked radiant in her formal gown, the moonlight shining of her light brown hair and illuminating her violet eyes to the point they shined, like a beacon of hope in the darkness.

He stepped back, bowing at the waist and extended his hand to her, "May I have this dance, Juliana?"

He gave her a dashing smile, raising his eyebrow in question. She giggled, and he noticed the red tent to her cheeks, giving him confidence he didn't know he could posses in front of the woman he desired most in all of Thedas.

She took his hand lightly, "of course, Commander." She said and was pleased when he felt her shudder as his arm wrapped around her waist. He pulled her against his chest, and she sighed with content as they began a slow dance, twirling her lightly and loving the way her formal gown clung to every soft curve.

Now was the time. He had to tell her how his heart ached for her, how his breath ceased to exist when she spoke his name, how just her entrance into the war room made his pulse race like a roaring river.

"Juliana, I-" He started, but stopped when she shushed him, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes. "I know, Cullen."She whispered, pressing her ear further against his pounding heart.

His face flushed with her words and actions, knowing she could hear how fast his heart beat. He tightened his hold on her waist, pulling her as close as possible.

They swayed gently with the night breeze, enjoying each others warmth in the quiet moment they were able to have. With her in his arms, the stress of the days melted away, the looming death and destruction receded.

He had something to fight for, looking down at her resting against his chest. She was everything to him, and he would do anything to keep her close.


	3. I couldn't save her

Thunder roars across the graying sky as rain pelts down against his armor, soaking through to his underclothes and sending chills up his spine. He has to find her, no one can. He searched the library first, her favorite place, then her quarters. Dorian hadn't spoke to her since Adamant and Lelianas scouts say she ran off as soon as they made it to Skyhold.

It was a devastating battle and he saw it in her eyes how heavily it had weighed on her. He didn't know what happened in the Fade, only that it was too much for her. He walked the battlements fast, seeking the last spot he knew she had to be, the first time they kissed.

He couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face, feeling the rain water cool his heated breath. He remembered her soft lips meeting his hesitantly, deepening as he wrapped his arm around her thin waist and pulled her flush against his chest. The way her slightly minted breath mingled with his own, teasing his tongue to trace the soft contours of her plump lips.

Lightning flashed and most thunder pounded against the stone walls. He reached the top of the battlement, the highest point in Skyhold and saw her staring toward the sky, her robes clinging to her body and dripping with the rain that hadn't let up.

"Juliana!" He shouted her name over the thunder. She ignored him, not even bothering to turn around.

He approached her quickly, gripping her wrist gently and turning her towards him.

He could see the tears even with the rain pouring down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face pale. He could feel her shivering and her skin was so cold, his heart quickened with his building worry.

"Juliana, its not safe up here. We should return before you catch a cold." He placed his hands on either side of her face, trying to warm her. She stared at him blankly, as though he said nothing at all.

"I couldn't save her." She whispered, and he almost couldn't hear her over the rain. "What do you mean, Julie?" He asked gently, unfastening his furs and draping them over her shoulders. They wouldn't do her much good, they were drenched as well, but he had to do something.

"I couldn't save Hawke!" She screamed, her voice cracking like the thunder above, fresh tears springing from her eyes. His heart ached for her, he didn't know what to do, how to help the woman he so desperately loved.

"I couldn't save her, Cullen, it… She…" She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a choking sob. He wrapped his arms around her, gently guiding her head to his shoulder. "It's alright, darling, it is alright." He tried to soothe her, his own throat tightening with guilt that he could not save her from this pain.

"It isn't, Cullen, I could have done more, I could have… I…" He pulled her back, placing his hands back on her cheeks to stare into those violet eyes that always brought him comfort and security. He hoped his own could convey the same in this moment. "You did everything you could have." Running his thumb over her high cheekbone and the scar that ran down from her left eye.

"I'm here, Julie, and you're not alone in this." His brow bunched in concern, he wanted so much to take this weighing guilt from her and bear the burden for her.

"Cullen…" She whispered, and before she could spout more faults, he reached up, smoothing her soaked hair from her forehead and kissed her. Her lips were colder than the first time, and they trembled against his own, sending shivers down his own spine and his heart beat painfully in his chest. His hand moved to the back of her neck, pulling her closer to stop their quivering. She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the warmth that always occupied him.

He broke the kiss too early for her liking, pressing his forehead to hers. "You needn't carry this on your own. I'm here." He whispered, kissing a gentle kiss to her nose, hoping to show the meaning of his words. Lightning flashed overhead, another roar racing across the clouds.

"Come, we should get you into something dry and by a fire. I'll make your favorite tea." He flashed his dashing smile and she nodded quietly, moving his arm about her waist and guiding her from the battlements.

She leaned heavily on him, the exhaustion from the past week finally taking toll and he was more than happy to bear the weight for her.

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**Please review, and thanks to all those who took the time to read my sappy, one-shots between the fantastic Commander Cullen and my F!Trevelyan Inquisitor. :)**


	4. The Past is the Past

Her face scrunched up in concentration as she flipped page after page of the large tome in her lap. She sat on the battlements, our spot, her leg swinging back and forth in a playful manner. He smiled, watching her, holding the scolding tea he knew she loved. She didn't look when he approached, though he knew she could hear the thudding of his boots on the stone. He sat next to her patiently waiting until she came to a stopping point. Her index finger followed the hastily scribbled words and her brow was furrowed as her eyes ran rapidly over the text.

He wondered briefly what it was that had captured her attention so intently. He tried to make out the words, but from his perch on the battlement it was near impossible. After sometime, a frustrated huff passed through her lips, and she shook her head before looking up to him with a smile, the smile that had stolen his heart the moment he met her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching for the tea and holding it between her hands tightly for warmth. "The trainers Leliana found me have me studying various spells and techniques. It's like the Circle all over again. Well, except for the over bearing templars." She almost growled out, before her eyes widened in shock, looking at Cullen in almost a pleading manner. "I'm sorry! I didn't… Not you, just… you know." She looked down to her hands holding the cup and a flustered blush crept up her pale cheeks.

He smiled sadly at her, not offended by the comment but it pained him to know his brothers in arms caused her such hate and rage, such distrust. It still amazed him that she could be with him…

"It's quite alright," He whispered, running his knuckles softly against her cheek, tucking strands of soft brown hair behind her ear. She looked unconvinced, shaking her head in silent disagreement. He sighed, a sound of exhaustion and shame. "It's just… I trusted in the Order, their causes, and even my less honorable brothers. I use to be just like them." He looked out onto the vast landscape that was the Frostback mountains, remembering his darker days in Ferelden and Kirkwall.

Soft fingers cupped his cheek, brushing the stubble, and turning his head back to deep violet eyes. Juliana smiled lightly at him, her eyes filled with understanding and compassion. "But you're not any longer, and some of them…" She took a shaky breath. "Some of their actions cannot be so easily forgiven." He noticed the pain in her eyes, the horrid memories that haunted her of past templars, just as his haunted him of past mages.

She was different than any mage he had ever met, even that of Solona Amell, the Hero of Ferelden. Juliana Trevelyan, leader of the Inquisition and Herald of Andraste was a woman of unshakable faith, strength and light. He felt empowered in her presence, and most everyone else did as well. She restored his faith and helped him whenever he faltered. This woman was nothing like the dark mages, lusting after their own power, and that helped him past all his memories, but also enabled his guilt.

He had done horrible things to mages after the Ferelden Circle, never trusting any mage to their own devices and always the first to exercise the Rite of Tranquility. He shuddered, thinking about the mages he held down, listening to their pleads for death or freedom, branding the mark upon their foreheads.

He looked back to his lovers eyes, seeing the life and joy in them, the happiness they brought others and himself. How could he have done what he did? What if it had been her? He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her onto his lap and resting his forehead on her shoulder, breathing in the scent of lavender and rose that was distinctly Juliana. "Cullen?" She whispered, threading her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp gently and sending shivers down his spine.

"These dark thoughts never leave, Julie." He whispered, holding her tight. "What I've done… How can you love a broken man?" His voice cracked, and the unshed tears burned behind his eyes. Her arm rested on his shoulders, gripping the furs attached to his armor tightly. "You're not broken, Cullen. You're a man who fought for justice, and protection. You only did what you thought best." Her voice was gentle, and soft, a soothing song in the midst of a battle.

He pulled back, to look at her, to see the truth in her eyes. "You don't know what I have done."

"The past is the past, dwelling on it now will not change it. No matter how much we might want to. Here, now? You're the man I love, and who you are now is not the man you use to be." He stared deep into violet pools, searching for deceit and dishonesty, the qualities he use to associate with mages alike, but only found understanding and the depth of her words. He could see that she loved him, and she was right. The only thing to do now was to be a better man, for her.

"And I love you." He smiled, kissing her deeply, tasting the hint of mint tea on her lips. She smiled, biting her lip as she pulled away.

"Commander…" Her voice was soft, teasing almost. She leaned in, her lips brushing his ear, causing the hair on his arm to stand on end. "I think we have some… Things to discuss back in your office." She nibbled at his earlobe before jumping off the battlements and racing towards the door. He grinned from ear to ear. S_he is something else,_ he thought to himself before chasing after her.


End file.
